During my cognitive behaviour group I've come upon the same general issue arising amongst my peers that has me concerned. Most people who embark on a cognitive behaviour seminar or course are looking to better themselves in one way or another, but I'm noticing a trend where most seem to forget that their goal is to change themselves, not those around them.
Anyone looking to better themselves has the potential to run into the problem that while they are growing, those around them are stagnant. For those who are on a bettering-themselves journey, please keep in mind this journey is yours, you chose it and your partner, family members and friends did not. YOU chose to change, the people around you did not. Though you may be wiser and more understanding of your inner workings, it does not mean that your entourage seek the same goal.
There is a second part of this which could probably warrant its own post but I'll just make this one a little long...
You are the one changing, which can leave your people feeling very out of sorts with the transition. Change is scary, especially if you didn't ask for it. Let's say in your personal relationship that you would get hysterical during fights, and now when your mate provokes you, you respond with reason and understanding. This is change. This is scary for your partner. You changed the game, the playing field and the rules.
Patience and purpose is key. Remember why you wanted to see change in yourself and stick to your journey, but cut the other guy some slack as well - or cut them loose.
Forever long-winded,
Nina Powers
Kicking up my heels~
12 years ago
